REJECTION

Rejection - A Professional Perspective

Professional REJECTION

I can’t even start by saying how many times I have had to deal with professional rejections. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I recently publicly announced a move to a different institution and was celebrated by many of my colleagues. I announced an upcoming presentation in which my abstract was accepted, and again celebrated by colleagues! What I rarely announce to the world are the rejections of abstracts, publications, projects, grants, research, fellowships, and other opportunities in which we, as a profession of nursing, hold in high regard. This summer has not been short of rejections or as a colleague puts it “NOT YET”! With social media, and if you’re like me and surrounded by professional over achievers, your rejections can seem that much more of a punch in the gut. But rejections are a normal part of professional growth; at least that’s what I’m told and what I tell my students and mentees! But… What does that mean? If you’re anything like me, you take rejection rather harshly. I personally need some recoup time before I can move on. Almost like a fast-track stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, & Acceptance). Because let’s face it, a denial of us or our work is not just a denial of us in one moment in time, but rather a denial of who and what we are. It’s a denial of years of experience, expertise, time, energy, work, thoughts… So, it’s normal to take it personally when you get that phone call or even better an impersonal email saying “thanks, you’re the best, we appreciate you, thanks for your submission, but maybe next time”. However, what I’ve been trying to do in the last couple of years (and at times doing it badly) is add another process in what I call the Professional Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, Acceptance, Evaluation, & Action.

So, what do these two additional steps have to do with anything? Unlike other losses that we grieve a professional loss or rejection is another opportunity to:

1. Evaluate

   • This really has to do with reevaluating what we were rejected for. This often can feel an exercise in futility as many rejections do not come with the “WHY”. So, it’s often up to us and if we’re lucky us and a mentor to figure out why the rejection occurred and are there other opportunities to reengage? For example, are there other jobs, teams, committees, organizations, publications, conferences, projects… that you can engage with to continue your forward momentum? This process, at least for me, allows me to re-engage with the work and start to reimagine it.

2. Action

   • This final step is rather self-explanatory. What are you going to do with your evaluation? Will you reimagine the work, reapply, resubmit, and reengage? OR also as acceptable is abandon the work, idea, project… and move into a path of something new. What the action step really is, is a commitment to either continue the path or forge a new one.

So, here is an example and how I started using this methodology:

A couple of years ago I applied to a summer fellowship which I thought would be extremely helpful for my professional growth. I was super excited as I jumped through all the hoops, got my strong letters of recommendation, put everything together and submitted my application. I was almost positive I would receive an acceptance letter. Not only did I not receive an acceptance letter, but I did also not receive any form of communication. So, when I reached out to the organization, the administrative person just said, “I’m looking at the list and you’re not on it!” No explanation, no reason as to why, nothing…

I spent a couple of weeks licking my wounds and questioning the decision as to why I was not accepted. Then I started the evaluation process. Some of the questions I started asking myself was not so much about why I was rejected, but why I had applied to the summer fellowship in the first place. One of my first conclusions was that I still wanted the experience, followed by a more objective evaluation of my own needs which revealed two specific objectives. Once I knew my own objectives, I started to think how else could I achieve my objectives?

1. I could wait a year and reapply, OR

2. I could find those experiences with others and perhaps even through my own network of colleagues and mentors

Luckily, I had a couple of great individuals in my network that I reached out to, and they allowed me to take part of some of their work. I learned what I needed, and they had an extra hand, win - win. If I didn’t have these people in my network, I may have had to do some cold calls to people I didn’t know, which is OK to do! If none of that was possible and it was still that important, I may have had to wait another year and resubmit.

So, where am I going with all this. It’s OK to grieve a professional rejection, but you always have options in your professional careers, especially in nursing!