Just a COG!

Having Clarity in Your Place in Life is Important!

Just a COG!

I remember as a kid watching Charlie Chaplins 1936 Movie “Modern Times”. And NO! Not when it first came out in theaters!!!

Not in a too distant past, my work schedule was changed to better work for others with the consequence being more work on my plate! Having a strong sense of what is manageable for me and what isn’t, I decided to bring this issue to my leadership, in which the conversation lead really nowhere and me being left with more work and no relief. Your basic “take it or leave it”, but done with more “leadership” style and politically correct language. It was almost like the stereotypical talk you may have had with a parent; “Back in my day, I had to walk in 3 feet of snow to get to work!” or what I tell my kids now, “When I was your age, there were no cell phones or I had to turn the dial on the TV to change the channel!”

Anyway, I walked away from the conversation feeling very belittled, unappreciated, and just a cog in the workplace! Thinking you’re valued for your contributions and the realization your leadership just really wants you to continue to be a “team player” (code for just do what your told and allow the abusive work environment to continue without disruption), and not make any waves or disrupt the norm is an interesting feeling and one I am familiar with. Not my first time at the rodeo as they say! Here is the twist from what I would normally do… Normally, I would say,” Here is my letter of resignation!” After I spent a couple of hours on the net looking for a new gig and sending out a couple of applications, I decided to do some soul searching and looking at why I was so upset at the circumstances (A trip to Maui didn’t hurt anything either)!

I spoke to a trusted mentor and she asked me “What do you want to do Ali?” and that sent my head into a tailspin… What do I want to do??? There was anger, frustration, uncertainty, not to mention I have a family to support and my own life responsibilities!

A few days ago, I had a flickering of a thought! In my own head, I suddenly asked myself, “What am I worth?” If I were to put a price on myself, what would I charge for me, my experience, my education, my talent, and what I contribute… If I have a finite number of hours per week and if I divide those hours into work (what I get paid to do), and what I want to do (professionally on my own time and dime), and family and home obligations (also my own time and dime), what would my time be worth? I need to put a dollar sign in front of anything that is extra, above and beyond! After going back and forth, taking into consideration my own salary and the amount I am paid now and have been paid prior, I came up with an hourly $$ figure that I thought I could live with.

Here is the weird thing… As soon as I gave myself and my own time value, I felt a sense of relief. No longer hoping others value my work or time, but now I had a tangible idea of what my time is worth and if I am being asked to do more than what I am being paid to do!

This is not to say I’m not doing anything for free. On the contrary, knowing the value of my time makes those free times I contribute more than just time. What it does do is it allows me to give my time value and it gives me choice based on my value. A value I did not feel I had before and a choice and feeling of value we do not always perceive at times when in a toxic environment! Knowing our own worth and valuing our own time can be liberating! So, nothing wrong with being a cog I guess! Just know your own value!

I’ll keep you posted on how this goes…